Boys' Rites of Passage

Our Sons' Futures

Posts Tagged ‘young adults’

How to Guide Your Child to their Excellent Self

Posted by Thomas on October 24, 2011

Before you continue: 

This post has 239 words. 

On average, it will take you less than 3 minutes to read.

Parenting is tough. We (parents) want the best for our children. Often times what is best for our children (from our perspective as parents) doesn’t mesh with what our children see as best for themselves. 

These misaligned views can cause friction or out-right blow-outs between parents and young adults.

The magic I’ve used with my own son to ward off such potential confrontations is to remember what I was like as a young adult (teen in the context of this discussion).

If we (parents) can humble ourselves and be honest with our children we can see things from their side of the equation (because we used to be them). Parenting can be tough because we (parents) want to impose or project onto our child our vision of them.

A better space from which to handle our children, I believe, is to expose them to as much as possible (through education, life experiences, interaction with other caring adults, volunteer opportunities, academic opportunities etc.) The point of the constant exposure to many things is to open up the world to them. Through this openness the child discovers something they are passionate about.

Once that passion has been identified it is then up to us (parents) to nurture our child to be their excellent self in that space of passion.

In other words, it’s okay if your son (or daughter for the moms reading) doesn’t turn out to be a mini-me.



Posted in Family, Rants | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Who Exactly is Being Trained: Parent or Child?

Posted by Thomas on June 2, 2009

The more I seek to train-up my son, the more I learn as a parent. We never have all the answers. We (parents) do our best with the information we have while incorporating the new information we learn each day. It’s hard to inspire your child to “meet challenges head-on” when you don’t follow that same advice yourself.

In light of a Rites of Passage I find myself in training mode; away from the R.O.P. Since we have family and friends with graduating young adults I’m taking advantage of those family celebrations as a way to motivate Glynne to see high school graduation and college entrance as worthwhile goals.

At a recent event, I watched him engage with other adults and other young adults. I was trained. As I listened I learned he has more on his mind than I often give him credit for in terms of thinking about the future.

To every father out there, stay open, and learn.

Posted in Black Boys, Black Dads, Family | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »