Boys' Rites of Passage

Our Sons' Futures

Posts Tagged ‘wife’

Inspiration Comes in all Shapes Sizes and Genders

Posted by Thomas on December 9, 2011

So this blog is male-centric. I focus on dads and sons. I try also to inspire, though I’m not sure I’m reaching anyone. Yet the great thing about inspiration — it comes in all shapes, sizes, and genders. Here’s author Kandice Jacobs-Armstrong. Enjoy reading her journey and be inspired! Here check out Mr. Malachi Munroe, phenomenal son of a friend of mine. He is 12 and a published author–be inspired! Finally, be enthralled by Ms. Chental-Song Bembry also a young author–be inspired!

Peace,

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What is the Big Deal, Pop?

Posted by Thomas on January 8, 2009

(Glynne celebrated his 16th birthday yesterday *Jan 7*; HAPPY B-DAY SON!)

Last week I asked Glynne how he felt about all the commotion surrounding the planning of his Rites of Passage Ceremony and Quest; his response “What’s the big deal Pop? I understand the guiding into manhood part, but, you have constantly done that.” He went on to say, it would have been different if he did not have a relationship with me; but since he grew up with me, all the things the Rites of Passage Program stands for he was exposed to repeatedly. So, in some ways, to Glynne we (the adults in his life) are making a big deal over regular things.

It is a big deal though. Knowing Glynne gives me insight into his thought process. He is like me in many ways. He prefers a “low-key profile”; doesn’t like a lot of fuss about him; so that characteristic is part of his “what’s the big deal?” question. The other part is that I feel I have failed him somewhere on the road. He should already know why this is so special; but not for his sake only, for the sake of the future. His future depends on appropriately embracing manhood; his wife’s future and that of his children depends on it also. As I expounded on these points (not wanting this talk to turn into a lecture) he listened quietly, distracted by his cell phone.

As a teenager I never saw the line of demarcation; the separator between boyhood and being a young adult and then becoming an adult. I didn’t fully understand the expectations those that loved me had for my life. I couldn’t comprehend, for example, that dropping out of college affected my entire clan, not just self. My short-sightedness kept me from seeing the connection between my present and future

Every adult that loves a young black boy should make a big deal of his becoming a man. The hoopla isn’t simply about Glynne; it’s about the future and connecting the dots. If EVERY black boy was raised understanding his interconnected impact and was effectively guided to accept his God-ordained responsibilities as he became a man; what would our world look like? How different would our families be? When we ponder questions like these, we then understand this “deal” is so big that it has world-wide and generational implications. Hug the boys in your life today; tell them, “becoming a responsible adult male is a huge life milestone; we will make the journey together”.

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