Boys' Rites of Passage

Our Sons' Futures

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Lessons My Son has Taught Me

Posted by Thomas on November 9, 2011

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As a young father I had no idea what a rites of passage for young boys was. I did know, on some unrealized level of myself, that I needed to be focused in training my son to fully embrace responsible adult manhood even though there are so many poor examples of wholesome manhood in the world (at times I have been that poor example!).

What I didn’t fully realize however is that while I was seeking to leave a wholesome legacy for my son he too has left a legacy in me.

I guess when you become a parent your baby is so vulnerable and needs you for everything that it never enters your mind that one day that baby will teach you.

Here are a few things my son has taught me (intentional or unintentional it doesn’t matter—they are lessons I learned because of him).

My son taught me the importance of recognizing how important you are in your circle of influence. 2009 was an important year in my life. I had been very connected and involved in our congregation but stepped away. My son spoke to me about it and helped me realize how many people my decisions had affected and were affecting negatively.

My son taught me how to lighten up. For the most part I’m a serious dude and although he can be serious I believe his predominant side is jovial and silly and light (he gets it from his mother).

My son taught me that education comes in all shapes, sizes, and from a myriad of places.

My son taught me how important it is for every caring adult that is concerned about young people to model wholesome behavior; because like it or not they (young people) watch every move we (adults) make.

My son taught me the importance of leading a tribe when a need exists. He didn’t see what he had accomplished but he, on his own without adult blessings, began mentoring and training boys younger than himself at our congregation.

My son taught me that not all teenage boys stop hugging their moms and dads. If I was home when he arrived from school he would stop and kiss me on my head every time.

As parents we teach our children so much. As parents let us be open-minded to the lessons our children teach us. We are never so grown up that we can’t learn from a child.

Peace,

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What Else Can I Teach My Son Before He Enters the World?

Posted by Thomas on October 22, 2011

Less than two weeks from now my son will leave for the U.S. Coast Guard. Although I know he isn’t leaving permanently at this point (at least I think I know) I keep asking myself “What else can I teach him before he leaves and enters the world?” 

There are so many things I haven’t taught him; because there is so much I don’t know. On some levels I feel I have the right answers to his questions. The right answers to situations he yet faces. On other levels I feel clueless. 

Honestly, although I’ve done what I consider to be the best job I could, as a father, I still wonder if it is enough. Did I give him enough to start his life with? Does he have enough to thrive, not just exist? 

Sigh… 

What about you? If you are a father (moms can comment too) leave your comment. Did you feel your son or daughter was prepared as they ventured into the world from the protection of your home? I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Peace,

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